Kitchen Fork - BSD

There is a dead boy. A dead boy killed by Atsushi's hands. But he deserved it, Atsushi is a good person. He and Dazai have to hide the body. They have to hide the body. Atsushi is a good person, He has to be.

Atsushi is a good kid, or atleast tries his best to be. He keeps to himself, he doesn’t hurt the other kids at the orphanage, he doesn’t bully pick on anyone. Atsushi is a good kid. There was a boy who picked on him though. He was a troubled kid, didn’t really like being in the orphanage after his parents died, He would lash out at him, yell and kick him until he bruised and cried, lock him in the storage room while Atsushi clawed at the door with bleeding and splintered fingers and chipped nails, he would call him awful things, tell him horrible things. Atsushi found a dog once, named him Buddy, they played for hours after dark outside the orphanage. The kid was jealous though. Atsushi later found the dog again. When he saw the soulless, empty eyes of the pup he knew exactly who did it. And now, under the pale moonlight, outside the orphanage, the boy had those same dead eyes.
Was he…?
Was he dead?
Oh god
Oh no no no
Atsushi eagerly checked the boy’s pulse.
…
Oh no.
Atsushi’s eyes widened as he looked at the scene before him;
The boy looked more peaceful than he’s ever been before. His face was relaxed like he was looking into the distance, his posture was calm, It was like he was asleep.
But he wasn’t asleep.
He was dead.
And Atsushi killed him.
And that fact hadn’t really set in yet.
But did Atsushi actually care?
of course he cared about the consequences, someone would find out and he would go to jail and spend the rest of his life there, or if not he would be let out and no one would want to talk to him because they
would only know him as a killer. He could see it now. Red and blue police lights approaching like the signal of a hunting animal, the big, buff, scary men stepping out of the police car grabbing him by the
arm and yelling at him, The newspapers with a picture of him on it talking about how he’s such a bad person how he deserved to die, just like the boy said.
He could see it now.
But did he care about the actual murder of the boy? Did he care about the death? No one cared about him when he was alive, why would they care now? it was a horrible thought and Atsushi knew it, but he was almost relieved the boy was dead. Daily, after every hit, after every mean word the boy told him, he wished that the boy was gone, and now he was. If no one found out then… maybe it would be okay.
Atsushi punched himself like he would always do when he had these kind of thoughts, like when he wished that kid would go away, like when he wished that kid would just die already. It hurt but he deserved it for thinking such things. Murder is bad. But… the boy was a bad person, was it okay to kill bad people? No one would care after all, hell, the other kids might be happy.
There was another boy standing infront of him now after Atsushi was lost in thought.
The boy looked older, maybe 11 or 12? He had boring brown hair and a cute face that were half covered by dirty bandages. And the boy was looking at the body.
Atsushi panicked.
“It’s not—it’s not what it looks like” he trembled, throwing his hands around almost gesturing, for what, he didn’t know.
He was crying now, finally, the fear was creeping in.
“I’m Dazai Osamu” the boy said.
“What?” Atsushi had to choke out the words as if there was something around his throat,
“Did you do this?”
“No.”
“Is he dead?”
“No.”
Dazai swiftly bent down and checked the boy’s pulse.
“You lied. But that’s ok, if I killed someone I would lie too.”
“I didn’t—“
“Shhh” Dazai walked over to Atsushi, touching his face and wiping the tear away.
“It’s ok… did anyone see you kill him? Like a grown up or something, cause that would be really bad.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know anything.” He pushed Dazai away and stumbled backwards.
“How are you so calm about this?”
“I didn’t kill him. Why would I be sad?”
“Because he’s a person!” Atsushi gestured while stumbling over his words, he always stumbled over his words at a time like this, the other kids would mock him but not as badly as the dead kid.
“What’s his name?” Asked Dazai, grabbing a long stick near the side of the road,
“I…”
Oh no,
Atsushi didn’t remember.
It’s funny isn’t it? How something like that could slip his mind at a time like this.
It’s not like it was important anyways.
Atsushi punched himself,
“You don’t know?” Dazai started poking the body with the stick.
“Don’t do that.”
“Why?”
“It’s a bad thing to do.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, I just feel like it is.”
Dazai shrugged and dropped the stick.
“Please…” Atsushi pleaded, “please don’t tell anyone about this?” He knew it was a stupid request, Ofcourse Dazai was going to tell someone about this, he just killed a boy.
“Hm. Was he a bad person?”
“Yes.”
“Then it will be our little secret” Dazai smiled.
That did not calm Atsushi down at all.
“Now—“ dazai knelt down to get a closer look at the body, “let’s get rid of this thing, otherwise it will start to smell. That’s what I heard anyways, from the older kids.”
“They do.” Atsushi looked away, “Dead things stink.”
They hoisted up the body and headed towards the river across the road in the park. Every step terrified Atsushi, what if they got found out? What if someone saw them, would they have to kill them too?
Atsushi didn’t want to think about that. Because when he looked at Dazai,
so calm and collected,
He was afraid that Dazai wouldn’t mind taking another person’s life.
Finally when they got to the river, the water running as if they were meaning to go somewhere, they threw the boy into the shallow river and watched as he floated down. “It’s like he’s going for a swim!”, Dazai patted Atsushi on the back as Atsushi watched the boy drift away. This was what he wanted right? To be free from that boy? That bully that has been tormenting them since he can remember.
The boy was a bad person.
But—
“Dazai?”
“Hmm?”
“Am I…?” Atsushi looked at his dirty shoes,“a bad person?”
…
“No, Atsushi.” Dazai patted him on the back again, “he was bad, and two negatives make a positive.
You are a good person.”

And Atsushi couldn’t tell if he was lying or not.